“I feel really, really ridiculous crying,” Otis, 33, said in a video via Instagram on Wednesday, April 22. “I’m crying, like, all the time these days. I feel so silly. I’m genuinely just so nervous.”
The former Bachelor star, who is now full term, detailed the fear that has set in following her doctor’s advice to get tested for COVID-19.
“I feel like everything is going to be fine,” she told her followers after saying that she has been tested, but doesn’t have the results yet. “I think I’m fine, but then I’m like, ‘Am I fine?’”
The New York native explained that the test was painful, which scared her even more about her pregnancy journey. “If I can’t handle the swab going up my nose, how can am I going have an unmedicated childbirth?” she asked. “I think I’m a little overwhelmed.”
Otis, who shares 2-year-old daughter, Henley, with husband Doug Hehner, explained that no matter how hard she’s trying to stay calm, her fears are taking over.
“I don’t know how to reset my brain so I can just chill the f out,” she admitted, wiping back tears from her eyes. “This is not how I want to behave or how I want to feel going into having my baby. This is a nightmare, like it really is, but I’m trying to stay positive and well balanced. I’m trying.”
She continued: “I’m trying to think happy thoughts and be positive.”
The pregnant star called herself a “wimp” for her breakdown because “other women have it so much worse than I do.” She concluded: “But here I am whining over just everything. I’m sorry, I’m going to get it together.”
The Married at First Sight: Unfiltered host told her followers in the caption of her video on Wednesday that she had “planned on taking my weekly bump pic and CELEBRATING the fact that I’m full term,” but she opted not to.
“I’m in such an emotional rut & smiling for a cutesy pic is the last thing on my mind,” she wrote on Wednesday. “I dont wanna pretend I’m all happy-go-lucky over here when I’m a complete MESS.”
Otis admitted that she’s “fortunate” for her rainbow baby making it to full term, but as a nurse herself she wanted to commend those who are the “real heroes” during the coronavirus pandemic.
She also gave a shout-out to her fellow pregnant women during the health crisis, writing, “if you’re a pregnant mama worried over everything and anything right now aaaaand you feel kinda psycho with your emotions – girl, I GET IT.💯 I’m here for you if you need to vent!”
Otis added: “We will ALL get through this! One step at a time!🙏🏻🤰🏼👶🏼💗 #positivevibesonly.”
The expectant mother opened up to her followers on Tuesday, April 21, ahead of taking the COVID-19 test, writing, “this is all so scary.”
She noted that if she does have the virus, her doctor recommends that she stay away from her little one, which she prayed wouldn’t be the case.
Otis and her husband announced in September 2019 that baby No. 2 was on the way after suffering multiple miscarriages.