Famed singer Shawn Mendes is sharing the unseen parts about his relationship with Camila Cabello that aren’t so rosy.
While in conversation on the Man Enough podcast, the singer, 22, talked about his greatest fear that he realized amidst one of his fights with his girlfriend.
“I raised my voice at her and she was like, ‘I don’t like it when you raise your voice. Why did you raise your voice?’ And I got so defensive,” he admitted. “I was like, ‘I wasn’t raising my voice at you!’ And I did raise my voice at her,” he said.
“And I felt her shrink and I felt me grow and I was like, ‘Oh god, this is the worst.’ I’m so terrified of being evil. I’m so scared to be bad,” he added.
“Maybe there even is bad inside of me, and I have to just accept that that exists. And that other part of me, he’s just got to be here and we’ve just got to work together until eventually he gets worked in all of the trauma and all of the kinks get rubbed out of him and he’s OK,” he shared.
“But I can’t avoid the fact that there’s a little bit of darkness inside of me and letting that darkness kind of be present is a horrible feeling,” he said.
Mendes was then asked if he apologized to Cabello, to which he said: “I made it about my evil and my fear, and she comforted me. And then it took me like 20 minutes of us separately reading our books to be able to come back to her and be like, ‘God, that was a whole thing and I’m really sorry.’”
“You think you’re being vulnerable but really you’re just defending yourself even better,” he added.